1. I will not seek parking anywhere near Emerald Bay or Zephyr Cove during peak tourist hours on a warm Saturday.
2. If at all possible, I will attempt to be outside (running errands/walking dog/freeloading on front lawn with an Old English in hand) around sunset so I can catch it most evenings.
3. I will only gamble at the penny slots for the purpose of obtaining free drinks.
4. No matter how hot they are, I will limit myself to a 10$ budget of dolla’ dolla’ bills rained on go-go dancers at Opal. 20$ in the summer. *note to self: remember to document for charitable donations tax-deductible.
5. I will purchase all my groceries from Groce-Out except for meat and vitamins.
6. I will purchase my furniture, halloween accessories, and dignity at The Attic.
7. I will never, ever cropdust myself while ski/snowboarding in a onesie.
8. I will never wear a onesie skiing/snowboarding after a night of drinking beer, which results in the rankest farts ever.
9. I will never settle by taking a girl/guy home that I meet at HQ after the compromising hour of 4 a.m.
10. I will remember to drop in to The Tahoe Journal dot com once a week, either while I am pumping gas or dropping the Cosbys off at the pool.
List compiled by a couple o’ weirdos.